Well, don't let this blog fool you....Tomorrow is actually "the" day. The day I start the highly dreaded battle of losing weight. I'm so ready to fight this fight, but at the same time, I get exhausted thinking about it. I will never understand how and why I let myself get this big. I remember thinking.."well, if I gain 10lbs more I will join a gym" or "If these pants quit fitting me, I'll make myself lose the weight"...those pants came and went...and the sizes went up and up. I just stopped caring. Caring about myself and those around me. Now...it's not 20 or 30lbs that I need to lose...it's a whole person! I just can't believe I let it get this far.
Every so often I get on this "eat healthier" kick and I try it...until a craving for a stupid hunk of chocolate comes along. Of course I give in! Stupid!
This time...I'm going to do it! I HAVE to! I have 3 babies (well, not babies anymore) that will need me for awhile..I'm sick of the excuses and the weakness. I've GOT to do this! And I want too....
I've never blogged before and never wanted to. But I thought, and I'm hoping, this will help me on this loooong journey I have ahead of me. Because let's face it, not like you can go to work or to your casual friends and say "Hey, guess what fatty's goin' on a diet today!!" It's embarrassing and emotional. Sure you can tell your best friend about it...but do you really tell them everything you feel inside? I don't think anyone close to me knows how much I am struggling with this whole weight thing. Not so much just sucking at the diets, but the effects it has on me emotionally. So, hopefully, someone finds my very first blog, someone who can relate, someone who can encourage, and someone who has been there and can help me through this!!
Until tomorrow....Peace out Cub Scout!
